There was a remake of Ghostbusters in 2016, but I didn’t watch it. So that puts me in the perfect position to review it!
Ghostbusters is about four women (who have vaginas) who decide to get revenge on the ghost of a man (who has a penis) One of the vaginas is crazy all the time and does things like spinning on the spot for three hours or that game that Bishop does in Aliens where he stabs the knife in between Hudson’s fingers, but she does it even quicker because having a vagina means that you can do things even quicker and better. One of the other vaginas is very angry and says things like, “Oh no you di’nt!” and “Mother****** gon’ get his **** ****** **** **** right up!” The other two vaginas have no personalities.
My favourite bit was when they were doing things better than the men, which was all of the film! These gals sure can bust ghosts! When one of the ghosts is flying through the air towards them, it’s the ghost that’s scared of them and it does a little ghost poo that falls on one of the ghostbusters and she looks at the poo and laughs because she ain’t afraid of no ghost and then she busts the ghost and the ghost goes “Noooooo! My children!” and the woman doesn’t care and she sucks the ghost into her mouth and then there’s a comedy bit where she farts afterwards and looks into the camera and says, “That’s a spicy-a meatball!” and then she winks. This bit was the scariest bit because I thought she was winking at me, and I thought that I might be a ghost and that I was next. But then the film continued and I breathed a sigh of relief.
The ghost of the man is a bad man but also a loser, so he poses no threat whatsoever to vaginas. He is easily defeated in a showdown that can only be described as ‘lazy’. And then the film carries on for, like, six hours because women can be funny too and if you don’t agree then you’re sexist and you better laugh because women are beautiful and funny and you’re just an idiot with a penis who doesn’t understand what it’s like to have children.
I was confused when not watching this film, but I think that was the intention. They purposefully made a film that people who liked the original film wouldn’t like, so did opposite things like not being funny or interesting. Character development suffers greatly as most of the characters’ defining traits are that they have a vagina (or a penis if they’re a baddy or stupid) I wouldn’t recommend not watching this film unless you own a vagina yourself because otherwise you won’t be powerful enough to understand the message that sisters are doing it for themselves and they don’t need no man nu-uh and girl power.